Wk 13.1 Dysfunctional Rigid Role Relations

Within these rigid relational patterns of dominance, rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, and submissive symmetry poses problems and damage to the relationship, especially if these roles make the people within the relationship feel strained, hurt and resentful.

In my opinion, of these three patterns, the one that would be most difficult to change would be the rigid complementarity, especially if that role has been enforced for over a period of time. The reason that I say this is because typically, these roles are formed within interpersonal relationships that have built over time, thus enforcing the idea of playing one’s suited and given role. This then builds up and culminates into a serious dysfunctional pattern since the problems occur after a long period of time when either partner becomes tired of always playing their one-up or one-down roles.

This rigid complementarity role may also be the most damaging for the self-esteem of the individuals within the relationship. Although a submissive symmetry may be damaging to the individuals’ self-esteem, due to the problems that occurs within this relationship (ex. an inefficient cyclical pattern of giving the other control, forcing the other into an uncomfortable position, having an unending pattern of self-enforced ideology that the other is better or that one is worse), the rigid complementarity pattern is worse in damage, especially for the submissive role, because those with the one-down role may feel that they do not have the right or capability to say anything, contribute to the relationship or take control of an aspect of the relationship. They may feel that they are unable do something other than letting their “better” dominant partner take control. As for the dominant role, they may feel that they have to take control because of an implied responsibility, thereby unintentionally giving immense pressure due to this role and causing unneeded worrying about their own capability to be in control always.

For the role that may be most damaging to interpersonal relationships, the most damaging in typical interpersonal relationships would probably be the competitive symmetry because both people are trying to take control and be the dominant control. This therefore creates frustrating strain on the relationship, an overwhelming and overly-competitive atmosphere, and a ceaseless fight of control over aspects of the relationship where one may feel that it would be an unacceptable loss for one to lose control of an aspect of this relationship, even if one partner does not have particular attachment for controlling that aspect. It may mean that each partner is unnecessarily competing with each other over who is in control over all things within the relationship, despite that there may be workable compromises.