Wk 6.2 Talking: Girls and Boys

Gender does play a role in how men and women use language and overall communicate differently. As we grow, we are influenced by the gender expectations that society has built and support, thus also affecting our use of language within different areas of our lives, from our socialization within groups, intimate interactions, and overall use of communication. As Trenholm points out, boys and girls have different patterns and manners of using language that generally fits what is expected from different genders: boys are supposed to be strong, authoritative, and “masculine”; women are to be nurturing, supportive, sensitive, encouraging and “feminine”. Thus language would often reflect these expectations.

For example, within a conversation between two women, there may be frequent verbal exchanges and conversations as well as an inclination for more intimate, close topics of conversation that encourages exposure of emotions, feelings and insecurities. In contrast, a conversation between men may be more limited in terms of explicit conversation/verbal exchanges as well as having less of a tendency to go into a conversation that deals with emotions and other “in-depth” topics, usually going for a wide breadth of public matters. When they do speak, there is a less likely chance that men will use “confirming verbal language” that indicates listening while the other is talking.

Another example would be when discussing a problem. If one discusses a problem with a girl, then the response would deal more with comforting and supporting the other person, dealing more with how the person is feeling, rather than the actual problem. Women would most likely use encouraging language while the other is talking, saying “right,” “sure,” “I know” and other little words that confirm that they are listening throughout the conversation. If that same problem was discussed with a guy, then the response would most likely be a more authoritative and straightforward answer, suggestion or stated solution for the problem that could be used, thus dealing with the literal meaning of the message.